Tuesday, July 28, 2015
I need to find more happiness. I feel so much. Things get me down....they rock me to the core. I worry. I stress. How can I cope better? What can I do? Exercise? Run? Yoga? Oils? Eat healthier? Probably all that, but I am just so exhausted at the thought of such a lifestyle change. Overwhelmed. then I can't move, and I just keeping doing the same old, same old. If I were happier, would my marriage be better? I want a happier marriage. I fake it all the time. Like honestly. I fake my happy marriage. I am so jealous of others and their marriages. I know theirs are work, obviously, but I don't feel like everyone else's is a struggle. Or miserable. Mine is. I need to be happier with myself...maybe that would help my marriage. Plus, I need friends. We just moved, and I foolishly hoped to have a new best friend. I don't. Who wants to be friends with me anyway? I yell at my husband and make him feel like shit. I am pathetic.
My children are my whole world. I love them more than anything. My angels, my dreams come true, the answers to my prayers. My wish for them is more happiness and more confidence than I will ever have. I shower them with love. I support them. I give them space to fly. I encourage them. I hopefully inspire them. I love them with my whole heart and soul. They are my everything and I thank God for them every day.